return
NXITY01 NXITY03 NXITY04

NXITY

A Narrative eXperience Interpreted Through You.

This is a pretty personal project of mine. I wanted to see if I could turn something hypothetical for some people, unimaginable for others and relatable to some into an image. This thing being anxiety. An often talked about topic, an alternative word that people use for nerves and frankly, taboo. Not anxiety per sé, but mental health.

I have multiple anxiety disorders and they had, and in some ways still do, complete control over my life. To many, this seems like an excuse or a lie. But to me and million others, this is a daily struggle.

I'm not at all a typical 'artistic' thinker, if you will. I like to use metaphors and analogies, sure, but I'm not one to look at a blue painting and see a deeper meaning. Nor do I create that myself. But I have seen that many people do, so I wanted to challenge myself in that. To see if I could make something rather abstract, something does not blatently say what it is, aside from maybe the title. Usually, I don't like to talk about my mental health, as I fear people might judge me for it.

The person in the middle is supposed to represent the 'sufferer'. I suppose the imagary could be used for many different instances, not only anxiety or mental health for that matter. The dark figures around it, represents the cause/the feeling/the problem. The juxtaposition between the two sides enforcing that idea. A white, relativley dull woman and black shiny oily creatures.

The video and the image tell the same story, but the video goes into more depth.
In the video, it starts soft. A bright white environment and the bleak statue and quiet yet eerie tunes in the background. This represents the lack of anxiety. For me, it isn't always present. Not anymore in any case.

The slow descent of the camera, and the introduction of the hands of the creatures as well as the flashing images of inverted colors, means the introduction of anxiety. It's a slow build up, you can feel it coming.
The flashes become more frequent and it leads into violent camera movements and music. Quick flashes of crashing waves and growing roots: the panic/anxiety attack. For a moment we see the once white statue as the same black creature. Representing how it engulfs you and consumes you for a short while. But, it will always come to an end. And there is light at the end of the tunnel. Both in the moment, but long term as well. This being the butterfly.

Anxiety isn't a pretty thing, nor is it absolute hell. It's something we will all expierence at some point. Some more than others. It feels more like a very claustrofobic space. But like a room, if there's a way in, there's a way out. It's unpredictable and scary but we just have to learn to live with it.

It is not a typical 'game artist' project, but I really wanted to tell this story.

Song: Cygnus (Remix) - Cult of Luna, Julie Christmas, Perturbator

December 2020

Software Used

ZBrush

Marmoset Toolbag

Adobe After Effects